Why don't they speak English?
by LeighAidan
Summary: While in England, Beast Boy goes on a rant about something he has never understood correctly...the English language.  ONESHOT


Writing Prompt #3: The dictionary atop your shelf had more than 200,000 words defined. Why don't you blow off some of the dust on its cover and randomly pick out ten words? Don't look at the meanings; just concentrate on the words. Write down your chosen words on a blank sheet of paper. Now, you're going to have fun creating meanings for those words. What do the words make you think of? What do you think they should mean?

AN: Okay, just to be honest I didn't like this prompt and was considering skipping it but I didn't want to skip any so I started thinking of something else I could do similar to this. Well, for starters, I don't have a dictionary. Who needs a dictionary when you can go onto dictionary . com or just put the word in google? So, I kept thinking and then an idea hit me so…tell me what you think. Because truthfully, this is nothing like what the prompt said. :)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

We're in England, baby!

Ahhh okay, so this is what happened; Mad Mod, the crazy British guy with the Beatles hair cut and the magic staff thing, made this huge weapon that was going to like hypnotize everyone in the world so that he would control everyone and everything. Now if this wasn't bad enough, we found out the gadget was all the way in England! So we had to get in the T-Ship (after Robin's freak out rant) and fly from California to England. When we got there, Mad Mod kept laughing then said, "'Ello, duckies! I'm so glad you could be here to watch me take over the world!" So Robin yelled, "Titans, GO!" and we took off into action. Cyborg was all like POW, BOOM, BOOYAH. Starfire flew high in the air and was all BANG, CRASH, GLORIOUS! Raven seemed really mad so she was like ZAP, AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS, HISS. Robin was all HI-YA, ZING, TITANS. As for me, well, I don't mean to brag but I was awesome. I was like RAWR, GRRR, CLAW, SCRATCH, BITE, DUDE!

Anyway, let's just say Mad Mod was nothing for the Teen Titans! Robin and Cyborg started disabling the hypno-weapon while Raven stood next to them, trying to convince them to let her go to London. She said coming to England was practically pointless unless you visited England. Starfire was flying around, taking off the parts on the machine that Cyborg told her to. I, however, was thinking. Because there's one thing about this that really bothered me.

You see, this is what bothered me. Who says stuff like "'Ello," or "duckies"? I mean, why don't British people know how to speak English?[1] I kept asking Raven what some of the words meant. I think she got mad at me for asking so much but I needed to know!

Ace- When I think of the word ace I think, holy crap! I aced something! Cool! Not, "That was ace, old chap." Because apparently here in England, ace means brilliant. Which I think it's brilliant you ace something but…you know what I mean.

Barmy- Barmy…bar me. Sounds like something you'd say in a bar. "Yo! Bar me!" But noooooo. In England it means crazy. Why can't they say crazy? It's not a hard word to say. Heck, I use it all the time.

Bloody- Okay, this one is actually pretty fun. Bloody is really a swear word in _their_ language. In the Harry Potter movies, Ron is always like "Bloody hell!" That's a swear word here! Haha isn't that hilarious? Bloody is usually how our battles turn out…for the losers we're fighting anyway!

Cheerio- Cheerios? No thanks. Personally they're too healthy for me. I like Lucky Charms. Oh wait! We're in England! So I guess I'm saying goodbye to you. Yeah, how stupid is that! Cheerio means goodbye. I swear, who came up with these meanings?

Mate- Alright, as you know, I turn into animals. When animals "get together" *nudgenudgewinkwink*, it's called mating. So when you call your friends your mates, like they do in England, it just kind of sounds funny. Raven slaps me when I laugh at people who say mate. She slaps me hard to. It hurts.

Nutter- Football. The sport with big tough guys who tackle each other for a pointy pigskin ball thing.(Which I don't appreciate.)[2] In England, football is soccer…but called football. But that's not the word I'm going to explain. You've seen it when some guy playing soccer accidently head butts another guy. In England they call it a nutter. Hahahahahahahahahah-OW! Raven slapped me again.

Parky- It sounds like how I park a car. It's kind of parked but not quite. Parky! No. Parky means that it's cold outside! Why can't they say, "It's cold outside!" or "Hey! It's chilly out"?

No. They say "It sure is parky!" Raven says it has something to do with the fact that we wear parkas when it's cold out. I don't believe her.

Snog- Snog just sounds gross. Don't you think so? Well, apparently not to the British. Snog means to make out. Why would someone choose such a disgusting word to describe _that_! It makes making out sound nasty. Which it's not.

Tidy- When I hear the word tidy, I usually run the other way because it's always someone telling me to tidy up my room or something. But I think if I were here in England, I wouldn't run away if someone said tidy. Tidy is a way to say that some chick is sexy. Speaking of tidy, that girl over there is looking mighty tidy! :)

Twit- You know, this word isn't used just by British people. Raven calls me a twit all the time. I figured out it's the British term for idiot. She's mean to me.

So there you have it folks. Proof that British people's language is weird. I mean honestly. Half these words aren't even words! When I type them they have the red squiggly underneath them. But anyway, I can't really change a whole country's language, can I? Whatever. At least I don't have to live here and listen to this all the time.

It would make me absolutely barmy.

Well, cheerio, mate. Talking to you has been ace but I have to run. Cyborg received a nutter in battle so we need to get him to the infirmary. If you ever go to England you may want to bring a coat; it's a bit parky. But say, you're looking quite tidy…how about me and you go snog behind that tree over the—OW! Bloody hell, Raven what was that for? No, I'm not being rude! I just asked if—hey, don't call me a twit!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

AN: Well, that was the craziest thing I've ever written. I really didn't know what to do with this. I remembered Beast Boy complaining about the English language in the episode "Revolution." So, I decided to use some British words that in America we don't really know.

First off, I would like to point out that I am not making fun of the English language by the use of the British. It's just a fun little prompt where Beast Boy learns what some words mean.

[1]- Beast Boy said that in "Revolution." He said: "Bangers and mash? Bubbles and squeak? Toad in the hole? Don't British people know how to speak English?"

[2]- I know footballs aren't made with pigskin anymore but I knew that would make vegan Beast Boy unappreciative of the sport.

Hope you liked it! Please review!


End file.
